Toi et Moi Engagement Rings

What is a Toi et Moi ring?

A toi et moi ring consists of two main gemstones, usually diamonds, though other precious stones can also be used. These two gemstones are set in a way that they appear to be embracing or facing each other, symbolising the coming together of two souls in love and unity, each stone representing one of the partners.

Toi et Moi Ring Meaning

A "toi et moi" ring, also known as a "you and me" ring, is a piece of romantic jewellery typically featuring two gemstones set side by side. The name "toi et moi" is French for "you and me," which perfectly reflects the symbolism behind the design.

The Origin & History of Toi et Moi Rings

The origins of the toi et moi ring can be traced back to the late 18th and early 19th centuries. One famous example of a toi et moi ring is the one given by Napoleon Bonaparte to his first wife, Joséphine de Beauharnais, in the late 18th century.

The design of the toi et moi ring has remained popular throughout the years, and it continues to be a cherished symbol of love and commitment. These rings are often used for engagements, anniversaries, or as sentimental gifts to mark special occasions between two people deeply in love.

Napoleon Bonaparte's proposal to Josephine de Beauharnais

Napoleon Bonaparte's toi et moi ring is one of the most famous and historically significant jewellery pieces. It is renowned not only for its exquisite design but also for the romantic and political implications associated with it.

Napoleon Bonaparte was a prominent French military and political leader who rose to become Emperor of the French in the early 19th century, while Josephine de Beauharnais was his first wife and an influential figure in French society.

Napoleon Bonaparte's toi et moi ring, presented to his beloved wife Josephine in 1796, was crafted by renowned jeweller Marie-Étienne Nitot; the ring featured a pear-shaped sapphire and diamond, symbolising the deep love, loyalty, and political alliance between the couple. Despite their eventual divorce in 1809, the ring's enduring symbolism has made it an iconic representation of their passionate romance and the complexities of their relationship. The ring's enduring appeal and historical importance have fascinated many, evident in its auction sale for around $950,000 in 2013.
 

 

Why is Toi et Moi such a popular choice nowadays?

Toi et Moi rings have become increasingly popular due to their unique and distinctive design. The customisation options allow couples to personalise the ring with each gemstone that holds personal significance to them. Influences from historical figures, modern aesthetics and the trend of non-traditional engagement rings have further fueled their popularity. The versatility of toi et moi rings for various occasions, their Instagram-worthy appearance, and the perception of equality they evoke in relationships contribute to their widespread appeal among couples today.

Celebrities and toi et moi rings

Megan Fox:

Megan Fox debuted her toi et moi engagement ring from rapper boyfriend Machine Gun Kelly (born Colson Baker) on Instagram in 2020. It features two stones, a pear-cut diamond and an emerald set in a band shaped like two pointed thorns. According to Kelly, the concept of the ring is that the ring can come apart but is drawn back together and connected by a magnet.

 

Jackie Kennedy:

John F Kennedy gifted Jackie Kennedy a famous toi et moi engagement ring ​. The toi et moi design from French jeweller Van Cleef & Arpels comprised a 2.88-carat diamond and a 2.84-carat emerald, both emerald-cut, on a band of baguette-cut emeralds and diamonds. 

 

Emily Ratajkowski:

This engagement ring changed how engagement rings were viewed and what was thought possible when designing diamond rings. Mixing two different shapes creates an asymmetrical yet harmonious design. For Emily, it was a 2-carat princess cut, a 3-carat pear-cut white diamond with a white gold setting and a yellow gold thin band. 

 

Ariana Grande:

Ariana Grande, the singer and actress, received a toi et moi engagement ring from her now ex-husband, Dalton Gomez. The ring features a pearl and a diamond, representing their love and commitment.

 

Kylie Jenner:

Kylie Jenner was gifted a toi et moi ring by her partner, Travis Scott. This ring came with a matching, more petite version (but in no way small) for their at-the-time three-year-old daughter, Stormi. The rings each feature a pear-cut and emerald-cut white diamond. Kylie's said to be each around 5-6ct while Stormi's are estimated at 1.5-2ct each.  

Design of Toi et Moi Ring

Size and Shape:

Toi et Moi rings typically feature two main gemstones set side by side, symbolising the unity of two individuals. The size of the gemstones can vary depending on personal preference and the ring's design. While pear-shaped and round gemstones remain popular, couples can explore more obscure and captivating cuts to create a distinct look:

1. Kite Cut: The kite-shaped gemstone exudes a modern and unconventional appeal. It's sharp angles and elongated form add a contemporary touch to the classic toi et moi ring design.

2. Marquise Cut: The marquise shape boasts an elegant and elongated silhouette. It brings a touch of sophistication to the ring while maintaining the captivating "you and me" symbolism.

3. Shield Cut: This geometric cut showcases a distinctive shape with straight sides that slope inward at the top. The shield-cut gemstones add a touch of boldness and uniqueness to the ring's overall design.

4. Hexagonal Cut: With six sides, the hexagonal gemstone offers a mesmerising and unconventional choice. Its symmetrical and captivating form adds an intriguing element to the toi et moi ring.

These less conventional gemstone cuts expand the possibilities for customisation, allowing couples to select shapes that resonate with their style and represent their love story uniquely.

Materials Used:

The primary materials used in toi et moi rings are precious metals such as gold (yellow, white, or rose gold) and platinum. These metals provide a durable and lustrous base for the ring. As for the gemstones, diamonds are the most popular choice due to their enduring beauty and symbolism of eternal love. However, other gemstones like sapphires, rubies, emeralds, or even combinations of different stones can be used to add colour and meaning to the design.

Typical Features & Symbolism:

The central feature of a toi et moi ring is the pairing of two gemstones, often with each gemstone representing one of the partners in a romantic relationship. The two stones are set in a way that they appear to be embracing or facing each other, symbolising the unity and love between the couple.

The design is rich in symbolism, with one gemstone representing "you" and the other meaning "me" in French ("toi" and "moi"). The ring thus becomes a beautiful representation of the union of two souls in love, coming together in harmony.

Customisation Options:

Toi et Moi rings offer various customisation options to make each piece unique to the couple. Some of the customisation choices include:

1. Gemstone Selection: Couples can choose gemstones with personal significance, such as birthstones or stones associated with meaningful moments in their relationship.

2. Metal Choice: The ring's band can be crafted from different types of precious metals, allowing couples to select a metal that suits their style and preferences.

3. Engravings: Personalised engravings inside the ring can add a layer of sentimentality and uniqueness to the piece.

4. Accent Stones: Some designs include accent stones or smaller diamonds along the band.

5. Band Design: The band can be plain, intricately engraved, or set with smaller stones for added detail.
 

 

What to Consider When Choosing a Toi et Moi Ring?

1. Gemstone Selection:

Decide on the gemstones you want for the ring. While diamonds are the classic choice, you can opt for other precious gemstones like sapphires, rubies, emeralds, or even birthstones with personal meaning.

2. Gemstone Cuts:

Explore gemstone cuts, such as pear-shaped, round, marquise, kite, shield, hexagonal, or other unique shapes. Each cut offers a different aesthetic and symbolism, so choose one that resonates with you and your partner.

3. Metal Type:

Select the metal for the ring band, such as gold (yellow, white, or rose) or platinum. Consider your skin tone and personal preferences to find the metal that complements your style.

4. Ring Size:

Ensure you know your partner's ring size accurately or have it measured professionally to ensure a perfect fit. A toi et moi ring can be challenging to resize due to its intricate design, so getting the size right from the start can help.

5. Setting Style:

Decide on the setting style for the gemstones. Common options include prong settings, bezel settings, or halo settings, each providing a distinct appearance and level of security for the gemstones.

6. Band Design:

Consider the design of the band itself. It can be a simple, smooth band or feature intricate engravings or accent stones along the band for added visual interest.

7. Budget:

Set a budget that aligns with your financial comfort and priorities. Toi et moi rings can range in price based on the materials used and the quality of gemstones.

8. Certification and Quality: 

If you choose diamonds or precious gemstones, ensure they come with proper certification to validate their quality and authenticity.

9. Comfort and Wearability:

Consider the comfort and wearability of the ring for everyday use. An engagement or wedding ring is meant to be worn daily, so choose a design that fits your lifestyle.

How to Care for Your Toi et Moi Ring? 

Caring for your toi et moi ring is essential to keep it looking beautiful and in excellent condition for years to come. ​​To care for your toi et moi ring, regularly clean it with mild soap and warm water, avoid harsh chemicals, store it properly, and have it professionally inspected. Refrain from resizing, protect it from impact, and consider getting it appraised and insured. For more in-depth cleaning and care instructions, visit our jewellery care guide.